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epic fail. morality&truth. where's God?

When we sin, we fail;  we displease God. 
Then there's that whole guilt trip to Uji-town.

This is what God feels like on your way to Uji-town.

I'm going to be transparent, because I've noticed that I try to seek truth in a world dressed in sheep's clothing.  And looking into the mirror, rarely do I admit or uphold the virtue of honesty.

I've failed in a bunch of areas, with relationships, dishonesty, anger, bitterness, depression, empty promises, etc. but I think the one thing I have failed at time and time again is with this phenomenon some would call "pornography."  As God as my witness, I testify that I've been plagued by it for years, like probably 8 or something like that.  In high school, I was addicted. 

I felt like it was the only thing that made me feel better. 
And the only thing going through my mind was "feel good, feel good."

Today was an epic fail in that area again.
But today, something interesting took place.  I found no pleasure in it.  I didn't enjoy it.

Funny, how God is able to take something bad and grows something good out of it.

It's compelling for me...for someone who once believed in nothing...and now I believe in something...the real-est something I've ever experienced.

It's definitely inexplicable...God, I mean...Like when you watch a really good movie, and after it's done, you have that moment as the credits roll, and you sigh, and you think to yourself, "why can't every movie be like that?"

Watch it!

It didn't just feel good, you just knew it was good.  And when you're friends agree with you too, and it wins a bunch of awards, you're like, "I KNEW IT!"

In the same way, I know and believe that there is truth in this world.  And nothing comes close to the reality of God in my life.  It's the greatest feeling in the world.

The difference between the God stuff and the porn stuff, for example, is the porn stuff is like

"hey.aurrite.yessss  i feel like doin that.  hehe."

but with God, it's like

"hmm church.  idk, im tired."

Bad stuff is easy, and admittedly, fun to do.  With God, I feel so at peace, and so happy, so sad, and so passionate and so alive at the same time, but it's not easy. 

It's a choice I'm faced with every single waking moment of my life: to follow God, or to follow sin.

When things get boiled down to it, there are always going to be those two options: to do what is good, or to do what is bad.


********************************theology break!**************************************************

US=Beings with conscience.  Who make choices.

SIN=Bad stuff.  Messed up things we do. Separates US from God.
________             ________________
=Dude who died for our sins.  Brings us to God.

GOD=Good stuff.  Holy and pure, incompatible with bad stuff.

See how we're separated from God by sin?  Jesus is kind of like the sin filter.  But the destiny of Jesus was to die for our sins, and to prove it he rose from the dead three days later.  Isn't that great?

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."
-John 15:13 NKJV

What greater love is there than self-sacrifice?

Even if you don't believe in Jesus, I want to challenge you to digest that concept of sacrifice.  What is love?  Who is Jesus?  And what did he really say?

Buddy Jesus.  The Man!  My Lord and Savior!   

**************************************end break**********************************************************

I believe in truth.  I believe in destiny.
I believe in purpose, and a reason to everything.

It's a matter of finding it.

In that same manner, as the Catholic Saint Ignatius of Loyola taught, we must look for God in all things.  He is all-powerful, ever-present, and most importantly, his love endures forever.  Remember, God loves you.



( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Oct. 17th, 2008 04:27 am (UTC)
where and how do you find the strength!?
yup i have lots more to learn.

oh and that movie is awesome!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )



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